Family estrangement is an incredibly emotionally difficult and hard to navigate issue for families that struggle with it. While the experience will be different for each family group, estrangement is the distancing of one or more family members from the family unit due to a myriad of reasons.
The most common reasons for family estrangement are:
- Extreme negativity
- Emotional disconnect
- Mental illness
- Fundamental worldview disagreements (there has been a rise in political family estrangement)
- Destructive behavior
- Abuse
These deep rooted issues may result in family members pursuing no-contact, effectively cutting their family off.
So, why is family estrangement on the rise?
As many as 1 in 4 Americans today report experiencing some form of family estrangement. Some contributing factors to why familial estrangement appears to be on the rise may include increased awareness of mental health issues, shifting societal standards around family, and more.
As social media becomes increasingly prevalent in peoples day-to-day lives, younger generations are working to decrease the stigma that surrounds discussions of mental health. A byproduct of this for many young adults has been the realization or recognition of unhealthy patterns they may be complicit in, or that they experience at the hands of family members.
This wide access to mental health knowledge, and the popularization of protecting one’s mental health may be contributing factors to family estrangement as an act of attempting to reduce trauma or negative mental health triggers.
Another potential factor that may have a correlation with rising rates of family estrangement is political disagreements among family members. Whether it be heated discussion around the Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner table, or even just day to day discussions, American families have been experiencing increased political polarization manifesting itself in family settings. This is especially true for young adults (think Generation Z and even Millennials) and their parents.
Whether it be family members struggling with mental health, abusive cycles, trauma, or even political divides that feel insurmountable, familial estrangement can be emotionally troubling for all parties involved.
So, what are some ways that you can cope with family estrangement?
Whether you were the one who initiated family estrangement, or whether you feel shut out by a loved one, it is important to acknowledge that family estrangement involves various people.
It may be helpful to seek out individual therapy to work through your feelings around your experience with family estrangement. Facing this difficult topic in a safe individual therapy session may help you identify the root of the estrangement, and the path that is most beneficial for healing moving forward.
If after self care and emotional healing you feel more able to confront the topic of your family estrangement, it might be time to acknowledge that estrangement doesn’t need to be permanent.
If you feel as though you are ready to take part in mending family relationships, and your family is willing to participate as well, family therapy may be a good option for you and your loved ones.
Here at Lisa Rogers Counseling we can help you and your family sit down together and have safe, productive, and honest conversations that seek to get at the root of your estrangement. No one family member needs to feel responsible for facilitating the hard conversations that this task calls for. Location, facilitation, and any other barriers can be easily remedied with our practice.
As a therapist who is licensed in several states, and has years of experience, Lisa Rogers is here to help. Lisa offers family counseling over video calls that is often helpful for family members who are separated by distance. Calm, collected, and insightful moderation for families struggling with estrangement is available and can serve to strengthen and repair relationships between loved ones.